What is the spiritual search about? It's about enlightenment. And what is enlightenment? It's taken to be some perfect state, some blissful experience. It's something new, something different.
Yet when it's read about - the pointers all suggest enlightenment isn't about these things. It's about the absence of the individual, it's pointing to the realization that there is no one there to attain anything like enlightenment.
But this is continually glossed over. This is overlooked, shoved aside... from the perspective of the individual we keep marching toward that concept of enlightenment, and then wonder why there is so much frustration. We wonder why "I'm not there yet." We wonder why "I only have an intellectual understanding." It's still all about the individual, and the individual is itself the illusion.
Why is the individual such a difficult thing to see through? It's not only difficult, it's impossible to see through, because it doesn't exist. Present SEEING isn't being DONE BY an individual, yet that's the template or assumption.
On top of pure SEEING, the idea of "doership" is applied to the seeing.
The spiritual search is really an attempt to fill that hole, to fill the sense of lack, to finally find the wholeness which is seemingly missing. This hole is filled with many things - relationships, drugs, alcohol, food, material things, money... once these no longer satisfy then something bigger is sought after. Now that hole will be filled with spiritual bliss.
Yet continuing to seek from within the same old concepts will be just more of the same. Continuing to fill that hole with more experiences (and enlightenment is seen as the ultimate experience) - will only bring more frustration.
The spiritual search is ultimately about finding out what you are. Right now you take yourself to be a person, a body-mind, separate and apart from the world, seeking wholeness within the world, to have some sort of permanently blissful experience. But this is and will continue to be false, no matter how it's conceptualized.
What you are is NOT the body, not the mind, not the person. These are only concepts. What you are isn't missing. It's not in need of a search. It's pointed out in various ways but it's extremely simple and obvious already. It's already intimately known. Yet it's missed because the focus continues to be about the objective content of experience. It's looked FOR from the perspective OF the individual.
You are THAT which is presently looking - the seeing prior to all these concepts. You are THAT which is ever-present and unchanging, while the body, thoughts and world change. And THAT is always here but it's mixed up with the objective content and identification with body-mind or thoughts or intellect or idea of a "person" or concept of an individual or the name or the job or the role in life.
If you say "I AM" - you know that to be true. How do you know? It's BECAUSE OF that presence that you are. It's because you already know yourself. The identification is mixing up this knowledge of yourself with objects of perception. Thoughts are objects of perception, yet we say "I AM thinking." The body is an object of perception, yet we say "I AM fat" or "I AM getting old" or "I AM unhappy about my body".
See how this immediacy of presence is mixed up with the objective content. See that thoughts and body are always and ever objective to something. That something isn't objective. That something is always there. That something is the very knowing or perceiving or experiencing - the background of all that appears.
When we say "I AM", we are referring to the body-mind in error. See how the mind translates that immediacy of knowing into the words "I AM". "I AM" is the confirmation that you exist - yet it's twisted up with the body-mind. That pure "I AM-ness" isn't the body-mind at all.
Find out what that "I AM" truly is. We might say you are looking FROM "I AM".