Saturday, August 4, 2007

A Big Mistake

I went on a Spiritual search for Truth. I wanted to be happy, wanted to find peace. I wanted my life to be better. I wanted to find the meaning of life.

I read all the ancient teachings - the mind worked to understand. I waited for a sudden experience to arrive - I expected a blissful state to be achieved.

But life never got any better. Things were gained, things were lost. Happy times came followed by sadness.

I made the mistake of engaging a teacher - but he didn't give me happiness, he didn't teach me peace, he didn't show me bliss. He simply told me the person I took myself to be was a fiction. He said I was no-thing.

He took away everything I had, everything I owned, everything I wanted, every expectation... Now I have nothing, I am no-thing. I have no home, no body, no mind - I have no possessions, no money, no goals, no dreams, no motivations. I have no past nor future.

I have not lost the person, I have simply seen that there never was a person. I can no longer do anything, want anything, or need anything. Every belief I ever had, every concept I held dear, including Spirituality, has been destroyed. I found life to be totally pointless and meaningless. I have totally lost who I thought I was.

It was a big mistake - all I wanted was to find the Truth.


Eduardo Piereck said...

And you can see the living the Truth is about living with no rythm, just letting things flow, with no person to claim possession of anything, just awareness looking at itself, which is NO self.

Anonymous said...

Would you have "IT" undone were it possible?

Randall Friend said...

Who is to have it undone? And undo WHAT?

In reality, nothing really happened - there never was an I, never was any separation, never was anything to do or undo.

Just a clear seeing that there never was an "I" in the first place. Any false concepts based on this "I" drop away naturally because they are seen as inherently false.

Charlie Hayes said...

O yeah. I went to see that same guy in Melbourne. No one came back. :-)