There is no reward waiting at the conclusion of the search. As long as the person you take yourself to be remains uninvestigated, the search will continue to go on - why? - because from the standpoint of the person the search is a search for something better for ME - my life should get better - I should become more peaceful - I should be wiser - I should have amazing experiences or I should achieve a supreme state of some kind.
It is all a rejection of what IS right now and a preference for becoming something different. That very rejection is the root frustration and lack of clarity. Why can't I get this? Why can't I experience that? Why can't I discover?
From this standpoint we are completely missing the point.
It isn't something FOR the individual - it isn't something that the individual BECOMES. It is a REALIZATION that the individual is false. Once again - it isn't that the individual gets something - it is discovering that the individual never existed.
We might stop chasing these states and achievements and direct our search towards the investigation of the idea of the individual, the entity, the person, the existence which is individual, the one referred to by the word "ME". Is it real? Does it really exist? Did it ever exist? How do you know of that idea? What is that idea based on? Can you find it anywhere? When does it appear? Where does it appear?
So we might ask - why am I stuck? Why do I see an outside world? This question really means - why am I an individual? The questions assumes that you ARE an individual and then something should change. Can you see this? That question isn't answerable because you never WERE an individual. The search isn't about making something change so that you are no longer an individual or you are an enlightened individual.
The search never ends for the individual. The search can end, however - it ends abruptly when it dawns that this idea you have about yourself, that you are a separate person, this idea is false. There is no such thing as a person. It's an idea - it's sort of like a prison because if you assume you are that person then you are really saying that existence is separate. A person is a separate existence. So you take yourself to BE that then try to GET OUT of it. It's impossible.
Poke into that idea and see if it is true, if it ever was true. If it is true then you can go on satisfied that you found your answer. If it is not true then the bottom falls out of the search right that very instant.
10 comments:
The assumption of individuality may be false; but it feels real. How to shed this stubborn assumption?
Thank you for this. Does the idea of free will contribute to this sense of self, the way you see it?
Great stuff Randall...so simple, so clear, love it.
Malcolm,
What you are feeling is being called individuality. Do you know the opposite of that? Do you have something to compare it to?
So all you know is what you've always known - only you call it individuality.
Vedanta says - ultimately there is no difference between Atman and Brahman. Therefore this feeling you call "individuality" is actually HOW THE WHOLE FEELS.
The only problem is that you take yourself to be the individual -therefore you attribute this "feeling" as individuality. You think you are that and then you want to change it. So how can you change it if you never WERE that?
The only solution is to realize that you aren't an individual to begin with. Then you aren't trying to change the feeling but you realize the feeling IS the whole - you realize the truth of the statement in Vedanta - Aham Brahmasmi - I am Brahman.
So we must investigate this idea of the individual and see what it means - what do we mean by that word? It is poking around those root assertions or assumptions which is necessary, not trying to make the feeling change.
love
randall
The idea of free will is based on awareness of what's going on - free will isn't the enemy. Free will means that you are aware of free will. "I have free will" is false - "free will is happening" is true. Yes?
The issue is that there is an identification with the appearance of free will. Thoughts arise - decisions arise - actions arise - but do YOU have anything to do with it? No. Ultimately you are only the witness of the activity. The identification with it is imagined or assumeed. It can be seen clearly that this all is just going on and there is no one doing it. That can be seen if you are willing to see it.
If we assume it's true then try to get out of it, we are only living in a self-created prison. Don't try to break free of the prison, realize the prison is false and there is nothing to break free from.
love
randall
Hey Suzanne - good to hear from you. Thanks for the comment.
I have poked into this quite a bit and see that there are many ideas of me which habitually arise sometimes disappearing from awareness. I am not aware where they come from or recede to. But it is clear to me that they do not reside anywhere as a cohesive entity that I can point to. I can find no place where I am. What I believe I am are just thoughts that come and go with varying duration. Still the bottom has not fallen out. There is no sense of a different perspective, of wholeness. If anything I feel a depression has set in as if caught on the rocks between two shores, unable to advance or retreat. The idea of me that I took to be so important and independent now seems ephemeral and not resting on anything solid and yet I still function as if it did. I feel like I am living a lie but compelled by inertia to continue.
Jeffrey
Jeffrey,
So you cannot find any solidity or reality to this individual existence called "Jeffrey" yet you say the bottom has not fallen out yet. If you cannot find a Jeffrey, then what could you possibly be, right here and now? If existence is not found to be separate, was it ever separate?
Therefore right here and now before anything else happens, you are whole reality, undivided existence. Nothing needs to change - it is only the idea of that individual existence that is seen through.
The bottom falling out means - seeing through that idea and then what are the implications of that?
The implication is - you are already free and didn't require a search - yet a search was necessary to see that the search wasn't necessary. All that happened was your idea of yourself as individual is seen through and therefore what else can you be but that wholeness of reality, Life, Existence?
love
randall
Hi Randall Friend,
The I in this case is the 'doer'. Sometimes it seems that things are happening on its own accord. BUt the I is doer because I can do stuff in life... make the hands type slower or faster, life my hand in the air in 5 seconds from now. The I is needed sometimes and funny enough it is needed when the thought is there infused with the I -thought ( example: I am going to close the fist).
So I tried to see through all of this and the same experiment keeps on coming back. I am going to do......something and voila, you do it and then the after thought says I did it. Funny, but it feels like I don't need to prove that there is an I or not. The I exists as the doer 'sometimes''. That 'sometimes' makes it hard and doubtfull, cause when There is no thought, things are being get done. So no full recognition of this or awareness.
So should I relax and be in a state of non-doing or should I continue with questioning? I feel exhausted.
thanks
javier
Javier,
Hello my friend,
You say "I can do stuff in life". This is the primary illusion or we might call it the false assumption.
Certainly there appears to be "stuff" happening. Certainly it appears the body is doing "stuff". However to say "I can do stuff in life" is applying doership without certainty - in other words this is said but it's habit and not direct evidence.
The first thing we must do is ask - WHO is doing it? That goes straight to the heart of what you take yourself to be. We will never resolve the problem of doership until we get to the bottom of WHO we are talking about.
love
randall
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