There is no special state or experience waiting you on the other side of realization. Realization is now - the fact pointed to in realization is your own self, without the concept of being something separate.
Striving for realization forever binds the search in place, forever cements spiritual seeking as an endeavor, an endeavor which has no happy ending. It cannot, simply because realization is seen as something I will gain, something for me, something which will change things for the better.
The sooner these false ideas about what realization is, is gone, the better. The fact is, you already intimately know what is being pointed out. It isn't anything you have to learn or achieve. You call it awareness but along with that concept comes many ideas, ideas which assert the "doing" of awareness, the ownership of awareness. Awareness is then the function of that individual.
The individual IS the split itself - that idea automatically asserts division - it's opposite is the world. There is no escaping that, if you are an individual how on Earth can you ever heal that division through any sort of spiritual seeking? Should there be some magical vision which somehow heals that split? Should some amazing experience come and then you recognize that the world doesn't really suck after all?
As long as our spiritual search is based on fantasy and imagination, you might as well find another hobby. Reality is presently whole - there is one essence expressing as everything. Appearance cannot be absolute reality. If that much is not clearly seen, then flopping around trying to figure it out is always going to be futile.
There is nothing needed to heal, nothing needed to reach. You are already whole, complete, perfect. Nothing new needs to arrive, nothing needs to be manipulated. It is this mindset of manipulating thoughts and situations or experiences which leads to so much frustration.
Is there such a thing as experience at all? If you say yes, you have automatically created an experienc-ER to go along with it. See if there is such a thing to begin with, before solidifying that idea and then trying to find the experienc-ER.
There is none.