Monday, June 30, 2008

You can never deny "I AM"

Forget Nisargadatta, Ramana... forget Bob Adamson and Krishnamurti and the Buddha and all the gurus and teachers.... Forget Advaita, Zen, Taoism, Dzogchen... forget spirituality and meditation and satsangs and books and websites and meetings and podcasts.... Forget awareness, consciousness, seeing, knowing, Oneness, God, the Absolute...

Forget it all... throw it away... discard it... every single bit of it is meaningless...

What is the only thing you cannot deny? What is the only thing you need no concept to KNOW? What is the only thing in DIRECT, PRESENT experience that cannot be negated?

You ARE! YOU! "I-NESS"... this feeling of "I AM"... this sense of BEINGNESS....

What IS this "I AM"? What are we really referring to when we say "I"? Isn't it this sense of BEINGNESS? This sense of existence? This sense of "I"?

Doesn't everything happen IN this sense of Beingness? Doesn't every thought, every movement, every action, every decision, every "object", every "practice", every guru or teaching or spiritual concept happen in YOU??? In WHAT YOU ARE?

Doesn't the body-mind happen or appear in YOU? Doesn't even the thought "I don't understand" happen RIGHT IN that "I AM" that you can never deny???


kcrist said...

what i dont understand is where is this awareness in deep dreamless sleep or after the death of the body?

kirk crist

Josef said...

Hello Randal,

sorry for my bad english,

i have got the same question as kirk crist.

I come to the conlcusion, that nothing can be said about that. In deep sleep the consciousness falls back into nothing. And without cause consciousness evolves from the nothingness again. But nothing can be said about nothingness.

I would be very thankful if you could anser the question of kirk an me.

Warm regards

Josef Ederer

PS: I just visited your webside. Its absolutly great. I have read the first chapter and it felt like my "ego" was swallowed from this lovley silent presence.

Thank you :-)

Gilbert said...

So if it is all within what I am, where shall I throw these things you suggest I should discard?

Anonymous said...

... :-)) good point gilbert !!! and another question, who is gonna forget ? and with what purpose ?


Randall Friend said...

Kirk and Josef,

Do you wake to an alarm or a loud knock on the door?

Even in deep sleep, awareness is, knowing the state of deep sleep.

What is the body? Is the body a "solid" thing, or is it simply a bundle of sensations, unlike any other sensation?

This "body" arises in awareness and passes in awareness - the very idea of a "body" comes in awareness itself - placing the "sensations" and the "idea" together to form a "separate thing", "my body"...

In pure direct looking, is there any idea of sleep, death, a body, or even awareness?

Randall Friend said...

Gilbert (and Sergio),

If we hold tight to any of these concepts and ideas, even to Nisargadatta or Ramana or Enlightenment or Oneness or beingness or awareness, as concepts, we're missing the point.

These all point to the reality of what you are, where no one remains to do anything, to throw away anything, to discard anything, to forget anything.

Just THIS - this immediate and timeless beingness in which the idea of ME comes and goes, like the cloud in the vast sky.

Josef said...

Dear Randall,

thank you for your answer. But i must ask a further question, because i feel, when this will be understood, the penny drops.

When i look directly in me NOW, without thinking, i feel this presence, this vibring energy, which is not borderd from my body. I am this, in wich every object, the whole world arises. It feels like this presence is and goes through everything. And without thinking, there is no subject and no object, it is one substance.

So far so good. But in deep sleep, my notice is, that this presence, this vibring energy is not there. It comes back when the clock rings.

I don´t understand this. Perhaps means that, that even this presence, this peaseful vibring energy when i am awake, is also only an object. But if this is the case, i feel like i have understood nothing and i am back at the beginning. In your writings you are always pointig to the "I am". And i can follow that. I also understand, that the words "I am" are only words and that this beeingness is deeper than every word. But in dreamless deep sleep, i have no sense of beeing.

Please help me to understood.

This search for several years is so despairing. My only wish is, that this maddening search comes to an end.

Warm regards


Randall Friend said...


Isn't this always the case - when this "last thing" is FINALLY understood - the penny drops, the bottom falls out, the lights and bliss and freedom of Enlightenment dawn and then "I'M" there!

This is FALSE! There IS no penny to drop, there is no "person" there who FINALLY understands and THEN BECOMES Enlightened.

You are ALREADY that. If it is not presently, currently, RIGHT NOW, in direct experience, if it is not HERE NOW, it is NOT IT!

There is NO final understanding. You are ALREADY what you seek. Seeking for some understanding in the mind is ALWAYS a movement away from THIS HERE NOW.

You say - "when I look directly" - WHO is looking? Looking is happening, or not - there is no "I" doing it.

See that this "I", this IMAGE you have built, this moving and changing "picture" of your "self" is false.

The real YOU is already shining, already knowing the looking, knowing the thinking, knowing the sleeping, knowing the objects, knowing the search, and knowing this false idea of YOU.

The real YOU is ALL of it, HERE and NOW! You are the container, that IN WHICH the appearance of the world arises.

The mind will never grasp it - never.... There is no penny to drop. You are already home - to a home you never left.

THIS HERE NOW is home. THIS is IT.

susana said...

May i offer you some tea?

Randall Friend said...

Yes, my friend - I would love some tea...

When we exhaust all our words and ideas and beliefs and concepts, what is left but to sit with friends and enjoy a sip of tea...

Thank you!


susana said...

the shedding of concepts is underway.
the realization that every thought i have leads to contraction has resulted in less thinking.
which is never a bad thing.
when you say the feeling of "i am" that it is indisputable but for me i cannot say i am with any conviction.
i can say "yes" absolutely, i can say "this" with clarity, but there is no abidance with i am. no connection or resonance whatsoever.
any ideas?

Anonymous said...

susana, who wants to abidance in I Am ? You are Two ? Find that phantom who says, i am, but dont abidance in that....

There is only I Am. And the story teller is a phantom.


Randall Friend said...


Are you presently aware? Are these words being read? Being known?

And aren't the body and thoughts also presently known?

Then comes the thoughts "I AM thinking less", "I AM realizing that every thought leads to contraction", "I AM not able to say I AM with any conviction", "I AM able to say 'yes' absolutely", "I AM having no abidance with I AM".

So there IS a connection with I AM - this is the only thing you are talking about - I AM. The entire comment is talking about this I AM - as the FALSE image, the constructed PICTURE of "susana", trying to understand, trying to shed concepts, trying to realize or understand.

There is nothing YOU need to do to BE what you are. You are ALREADY that.

And what ARE you NOW? Look beyond the reference to the IMAGE of susana as that body-mind, what is undeniable and never-changing, watching the world and that "story of I AM"?


Josef said...

Thank you for your detailed answer and the time you spend for that. It helped me a lot :-)
Perhaps i can meet you at second life when i am able to enter this platform.

Warm regards


Randall Friend said...


WHAT is helped? How is that helping known? What "object" is helped?

See that this is still some "thing" that may change, some "thing" that can be helped.

What you are needs no help. What you are simply IS - it is hidden because you're looking for it, believing you need help to find it.

Beingness is hidden by being EVERYTHING, right HERE and NOW. Everything appears in YOU, in THIS very MOMENT.


susana said...

even the thought "I don't understand" happens RIGHT in that "I AM".

every single thought, feeling, vision, hope, secret, every single thing happens in "I AM".
thanking you that happens in "I AM".

susana said...

Thanking you.
What tea would you all like?

Randall Friend said...

I AM wanting some green tea... thank you.


susana said...

i am the space in which every conflict and resolution has happened
i am the space in which every bird has sung.
i am the space in which every tear has been shed and every smile spread
i am the space in which every seed has sprouted and every seed has died.

Would you like some honey with your tea my dear friend.

so it is not susana and randall it is the space in which susana and randall appear.
my god.
suddenly there is an absence of the personal and with that ...............................
gratitude abounds

Randall Friend said...

Yes, good and bad, up and down, birth and death - all appearing and disappearing in the never-changing knowing presence.

Once the relative idea of good comes, bad is assumed, once anything is labeled and "created" in thought, the opposite is assumed.

Once the "I AM" comes - the world is assumed.

And it is all perfect as it is, perfectly arising in this knowing "space" that you are, this unchanging, ever-present container/moment/consciousness/God/Oneness...

But do we ever need a word to know what we are?


Anonymous said...

Thank you Randall for your lovely peacefull and clear pointers. And all that free of charge.

Warm and love regards from space to space!