Friday, February 15, 2008

Beyond the Appearance

I see a body, a head, arms, legs, eyes, mouth, ears...

I know about a brain, lungs, heart, stomach, liver...

I "hear" thoughts, beliefs, concepts, memories, associations...

I watch this body-mind going about in the world, making decisions, thinking, talking, feeling pain, feeling pleasure...

I witness this body-mind having thoughts about an "I" that does this, an "I" that does that...

It's all perfect as it is. Nothing needs to change.

But it's not what I am.

What I am sees the body, the mind, the decisions, the suffering and the bliss.

What I am knows the moving about, knows the attempts to find answers, to know the truth, to find Enlightenment.

But what I am can never have any of this, can never find any of this, and never needs to anyway.

What I am doesn't have the capability of searching, of moving, of thinking. What I am doesn't have the capability to care or not care. What I am doesn't even know what any of it is called, what the meaning of any of it is...

What I am is the source of all of it - I see the coming and going of the body, of the mind, of consciousness itself.

I see beliefs pass through like clouds, I see suffering turn into joy then turn back to suffering again.

I see the "I"-thought arise to greet the sense of separation - I see it pass.

What I am is never touched, like a mirror, reflecting all unconditionally, never grasping, never holding, not because it doesn't want to grasp or hold, but because it doesn't have the capacity to hold anything.

What I am has no capacity to want or not want, need or not need, fear or not fear. What I am was never born and cannot die - for it is only the passing body-mind which was born and will die.

And what I am is what YOU ARE - the already-present being-awareness which is behind all of what arises, including the world, the body-mind, even this consciousness.

What YOU ARE is presently seeing/knowing without doing anything, effortlessly. What YOU ARE is the open space, the background on which this entire play, this dream, is happening.

This isn't something "YOU" have to attain - it IS WHAT YOU ARE. The identification with, the belief in, the body-mind AS what you are is the only apparent block to seeing what you ALREADY are. No amount of meditation or other spiritual paths can help "you" attain it, because that body-mind who would meditate is just another happening in what you are. The meditation is presently known, that's ALREADY the case.

The only thing that can be done, and this is ALREADY happening, is to rest in this silent, spacious seeing/knowing awareness, to watch the body-mind going about it's business, moving about in various ways, searching, suffering, having pleasure and pain. There is nothing that needs to be done to the body-mind, no experience that needs to happen, no attainment that needs to happen.

But we seek for an answer within the dream, within that which is seen/known - however the concept of an "I" that sees this body-mind is also an illusion, still false separation. Saying "I" know the body-mind and it isn't what I am is STILL separation, still duality.

So what is the answer? Who is seeing/knowing? Will you ever be satisfied with the answer "nobody is seeing/knowing"? Is it possible that what you really are is not a thing, nobody, meaningless, non-existent (or to put it another way, the only thing that exists)?

4 comments:

Cedric said...

So what you are is what I am?

Randall Friend said...

Cedric,

Randall and Cedric are both characters in the play of appearances, in the dream of separation.

In reality, what I am, what YOU ARE, is not a thing, not a body, not a mind. It is the identification with the impermanent forms which leads to suffering. And this is perfectly fine - there is no one there to do anything about it. The "story" goes on.

You are both the witness, watching the passing show, and the Absolute, the unknowable, in which even the seeing/knowing arise.

It amounts to the same thing (or no-thing). Only an "I" would care about this.


love
randall

Cedric said...

Thanks Randall,
I wasn't actually talking about Cedric and Randall when I made my comment. Rather I was referring to what I am "in reality" and what you are "in reality". Whatever "it" is as I understand it to be undescribable, it's the same... you... I... it's just... I.(?)

Randall Friend said...

Cedric,

The mind will jump through hoops trying in futility to try to understand, to put it into some conceptual box.

These attempts, these conceptual boxes, even he who would do this, is still arising in the present awareness, the seeing/knowing happening NOW.

That being/awareness/bliss is what you are, but to call it "you" is still duality. There is no "I", not even an "ultimate I".

There is only THIS, NOW. Who is there to ask the question?


love
randall