Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I can't shake the belief in "I"

Q: There is still this belief in this "I". I cant seem to shake that belief. I sort of know there is no "I", but perhaps not well enough. Perhaps this is where the problem lies, in this continuous belief of this "I"?

A: Right now, Consciousness is looking out those eyes. It is silent, still, untouched by anything that is seen. Thoughts about this or that, even thoughts about an apparent "I", just appear NOW in this silent witnessing that is going on presently.

What is a belief? Isn't it only a thought? And do thoughts have any existence? Do they have any power? So a belief is just a thought arising NOW with NO POWER.

Prior to any thought, this basic essence IS. It's there now, before the sense of "Kevin" arises. "Kevin" or "couch" or "Universe" is only known by going into thoughts. But still that silent witnessing Consciousness, that being/awareness, is there before, during and after any of these thoughts.

The feeling of "I" or I AM - this is a reference to the sense of this Conscious Presence. When you say I AM - you are pointing straight to that essence. It is the feeling of being. But it gets clouded up by falsely believing yourself to be the body and mind.

Just suspend the belief in "I" for a moment - suspend any thoughts for just a moment. In this pause, what is happening? Just the "picture" of what's in front of the eyes, the feeling of the butt in the chair, the hands on the keyboard, the breath coming and going, maybe a hunger pang. Just the simple witnessing of what is going on RIGHT NOW.

And these "things" - the "picture" and its contents, "butt" and "chair", "hands" and "keyboard", "breath", "hunger"... how do we know what these things are unless we use thoughts or memories of the definitions of words? Concepts... These are STILL only thoughts arising in this simple witnessing awareness or presence.

So discard the concepts or definitions for a moment and pause again. Just LOOK. This simple KNOWINGNESS or AWARENESS or witnessing Consciousness is what you are. In this, see that the body and thoughts just appear IN THIS.

The only real obstacle is the belief that there is some future event where something will happen. There is only NOW. And in this NOW, even the belief in the "I" arises in the simple Witnessing Presence that you already are.


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