Friday, April 20, 2012

Part 3 - Conviction and Doubt

We've been looking at the ideas we have - about what we are, about what the world is, about what is reality...

Instead of leaving a vague idea in place to dictate our paradigm of reality, we've decided to overturn the rock, poke into the bushes with a stick, stir up the bees nest...  we've decided to go where we generally don't like to go - into the unknown, into the darkness.  We've determined that the only way to get to the bottom of it is to really get a look at the idea we have about what-we-are and see if it makes any sense.

Because otherwise we're just being carried around with the basic assumptions - our view of reality is dictated by this most basic belief in separation - separation means the idea that things exist of themselves, they come into existence independently.  

So we must come to a conviction one way or another - this conviction is critical.  On the one hand, instead of living with a vague undefined idea of yourself, go fully into the idea of separation - embrace it - find out that it's true and then there is no longer a need to seek wholeness or oneness.  Because if this idea you have about yourself is true, then separation is true and spirituality is a fantasy, an interesting hobby but nothing more.  If you can come to this conviction, then your search is over.

On the other hand, if you do poke into it and cannot confirm this idea of separation, of independent existences which come and go, then the conviction must be the other way.  It's not adopting a new belief system - but maybe it's a conviction that the idea I have about myself is NOT true even if I don't know yet what I am.  I can truly DOUBT this idea of separation, I can truly DOUBT the idea that what-I-am comes and goes, even if I cannot replace this idea with another one.  

It is this doubt that is the spiritual fuse - once this is lit spirituality takes on a new dimension - a new flavor.  It's no longer a hobby.  It's a fire that burns up everything.  My comfortable idea I have is ripped out and I'm left without anything to rest on - I must get to the bottom of it.  I am willing to look at the possibility that I am the whole after all.  I am willing to inquire truthfully into these ideas and completely discard what I find to be false.

This means we need something other than our existing belief system - we need something to point in the right direction.  Most religions are trying to do this, however they are clouded with additional confusion which makes it difficult to see the underlying message.  But even a walk in the park can be a pointer, a spiritual message.  In fact just sitting here now at your computer, each experience, each sensation - eventually we will see that THIS is IT, right here and now.  

Vedanta is another system - another pointer - another means of knowledge to come to know what you are.  Vedanta simply provides an occasion for doubt - it questions what we think and provides other possibilities.  It points out things which are undeniable and forces us into a corner - there may be a break in the paradigm of separate thing-ness and a realization that reality is not-two.

So through this, we come to realize that my existing ideas about what-I-am are dubious, doubtable, and something like Vedanta might be needed to point me in the right direction.  

And ultimately we realize that we never went anywhere - we never needed to move one inch from where we are now, we never needed to become anything other than what we are now.  We find that it was only our idea about what-we-are that was incorrect - nothing changed except the false fell away.


9 comments:

billtys said...

Hello Randall,

Thank you for your posts...I love the last sentence...nothing changed except the false fell away.

I would like to put some statements into two boxes....

Box One:

Start from the fact that you are already that.

You are what is looking.

Box Two:

Your statements in this bolg:

Eventually we will see that this is it, right here and now.

Ultimately we realize that we never went anywhere.

We never needed to move one inch from where we are now.

I have some difficulty reconciling these statements although in some way they are all the same.

The Box One statements seem more exciting and powerful and meeting the purpose of investigating the phantom Bill entity.

Would you please help me out here.

Thank you.

Love to you.

Bill

Randall Friend said...

Hi Bill,

I'm not 100% certain I understand what you're asking, however I'll try to answer.

There are many ways to express this - sometimes we're pointing out the futility of the search, however futile it is we still have some confusion about what we are. That means we must investigate it, if we're so inclined.

That is a complete contradiction, yes? If you're already THAT then why should you investigate? Well, because you don't know you are already THAT. When you DO know, the search will definitely be over, once and for all.

An interesting twist on this is - if you ARE already that, if you're willing to accept that proposition or thesis, then try to figure out HOW that could be? Because it SEEMS that I am a person, I am an entity. It SEEMS that way. So we might try to dissect these statements and find out why the hell they are being stated. Why would someone say that? What basis do they have?

There are many different ways of pointing all this out - some point to awareness which is intermediate - by that I mean the capacity of consciousness is transient. That BY WHICH I know consciousness we can call Awareness but that generally just leaves us more confused.

After a while of trying to put all this in words and using the conventional Awareness teachings, I've sort of gone away from that and tried to go straight into the heart of the matter.

There is one essence - that essence expresses as everything, including this body, these thoughts, the tree, the rock, the sky... These are all patterns - the patterns are patterns of other patterns... we can break each one down over and over - eventually we come to some ineffable, ungraspable essence. That essence is intelligent - it is definitely something we know -the DNA - the black hole, gravity... the formation of each pattern - it's amazing.

That intelligent essence has another facet or aspect. In addition to black holes and dna, there is something we call Consciousness, which is the transient ability to be aware of this expression - the transient ability to coalesce these fleeting patterns into something we can identify - something solid - through the 5 senses we generate a picture of a world. That's consciousness. And in this way, that intelligence is aware of itself.

Bill is simply a portal through which that singularity is aware of itself, another perspective through which that intelligence knows itself. Bill is a name for the kaleidoscope - the colors are consciousness.

WHAT-you-are, then, is that intelligence, that single essence which patterns (called Consciousness) in a million-billion ways.

So you can accept that you are that - or you can try to figure out HOW you are that. Either you discard it and accept yourself as a separate entity or investigate properly.

And it's been correctly said that all this is still just language and can even still be said to be beliefs. However the root of it is - you don't need a BELIEF to know "I AM". You know that - you don't believe you are, you KNOW you are.

Here's the kicker- That's really the only thing you need to know - it's just the additional stuff, the additional false baggage has to be discarded one way or another. That "Bill" still hangs around in Belief - so we have a way to talk about it which eliminates Bill as reality. In essence, all you know and all you need to know is "I AM".

WHO knows "I AM" - whatever that essence is, whatever that intelligence is - that you ARE.

So then once we know what we are, once we can reconcile it, once we can come to a conviction, then Bill goes along just fine - the world goes along just fine as it always does. There is no longer a need to change it, to change thoughts, to change Bill. Bill is a convenient concept and a beautiful cathedral through which that "one essence" enjoys itself.

love to you
randall

Karuna said...

We are all vehicles through which the Divine Essence expresses herself! Well said!

Randall Friend said...

Hi Karuna,

Good to hear from you, my friend. Thanks for the excellent comment. Very nicely put.


love
randall

Paddy B said...

Hi Randall I've read your book and listened to all your podcasts. Thank you so much for taking the time and effort in sharing, and in helping me (for want a better wording) harmoniously dissolve. 

All the best.

Paddyb

billtys said...

Hello Randall

Thank you for your extensive reply. I have been digesting it.

Yes...if there is resonance with "you are that" then why would one investigate. You say one might want to proceed and investigate HOW I am that.

Along the lines of your explanation to me, I see the existence of this intelligence as obvious. The awe of a bean shoot pushing through the earth, the awe of planets moving around, the awe of the seasons on a continual automatic cycle, certainly points to an unseen intelligence. If the intelligence is in the bean sprout it is also the bean sprout. It is omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent.

This intelligence expresses as everything including the imagined entity. Not only does it express as the imagined entity but also as that reasoning ability (essentially just another pattern)and that pattern enables the investigation, the reasoning and the appreciation of Itself to occur...or just be.

This latter aspect is just one of the million billion patterns, the One expressing as many, but is significant inasmuch as It displays and knows Itself...and why not?

This is HOW it is known that I am that intelligence...

However, after investigating that the sea is clear and yet it still appears blue, in the same way I investigate the validity of Bill and find that he is a phantom but still appears...simply an expression of the intelligence.

Love to you,

Bill

Randall Friend said...

Hi Paddy - love to you my friend.

Randall Friend said...

Hi Bill...

Yes! Very well put.

"This intelligence expresses as everything including the imagined entity. Not only does it express as the imagined entity but also as that reasoning ability (essentially just another pattern)and that pattern enables the investigation, the reasoning and the appreciation of Itself to occur...or just be.

This latter aspect is just one of the million billion patterns, the One expressing as many, but is significant inasmuch as It displays and knows Itself...and why not?

This is HOW it is known that I am that intelligence...

However, after investigating that the sea is clear and yet it still appears blue, in the same way I investigate the validity of Bill and find that he is a phantom but still appears...simply an expression of the intelligence."

Not only does it express as this entity but as this logical ability to discern what-am-I... to wonder, to be fooled and to dig up all the assumptions and then the false falls away.

Bill, as the pattern, isn't false. Bill as absolute reality, is false. Your actuality is that singularity - that intelligence. No matter how it expresses. The expression and the knowing of that expression is just a benefit. If Consciousness never dawned, you would never known "I AM" - yet you would still BE, yes?

So it is that "I AM", that Consciousness, that experience or pattern, BECAUSE of which you know that you exist - but we put conditions on the experiences, on the patterns - we want to change them instead of realizing their relativity and transience.

You are that which IS - knowing itself, experiencing itself, investigating itself and finding itself, realizing itself AS THAT - that which it already was. Only the false fell away - the blue water is still blue but we know without a doubt that the water isn't really blue.

So now we can just sit and say how beautiful the blue water is. In the same way Bill functions until it doesn't. Nothing dies - a pattern changes, yes.

love
randall

billtys said...

Hello Randall,

Thank you for expanding your comments and making it so clear.

Love to you,

Bill