As long as you take yourself to be something finite, your search for wholeness will continue. To sit and read spirituality and hope for some experiential change is bullshit. This is about what you take yourself to be. It is about Self-Knowledge. Knowing what you are.
Right now you settle for identification with the finite and limited. AS that you naturally seek to be free of that limitation. But what is finite and limited cannot, by any means, become limitless and whole. You seek freedom because you believe yourself to be bound.
No resolution can come of this through any means except knowing what you are, finding out IF you are this limited entity or not. If you are in fact limited then the search is over. If you are NOT limited then the search is also over.
To sit identified WITH the finite and limited and then wait for some spiritual revelation is bullshit. Dive deep into this idea you have about yourself, this idea that you are actually limited and then see if it's true. See if the identification is true.
We often say - I have read such and such for many years, done this and that practice, yet I am still not there yet. This is still ignorance of your true nature or Self. WHO is it that has done this? WHO? There has been no actual investigation into the root idea of what you are.
"I have done this or that, yet I am still suffering." WHO is being referred here? WHO has done this and that - WHO is suffering? THAT is the identification in action. THAT is taking yourself to BE the limited - the body, the mind. So this statement is saying that I AM that limited body-mind and that body-mind is still suffering. That body-mind is not YET FREE. This is absolutely a fantasy. The so-called body-mind, as we take it to be, IS limited. IF you are that, then you will always be limited. SEE if this identification is true before accepting the limits of BEING that.
There is only one question of concern - AM I a limited entity or NOT? IF I am a limited entity then I can quit searching right now, seeing that spirituality is just the mind's fantasy of BECOMING something. That has never worked in any other pursuit in life and it won't work in spirituality.
IF I am NOT limited then the search is over also. I discover that the idea of myself as limited was only ever an assumption, only identified with the finite and limited, taking myself as a form, an appearance, a thing-among-things.
Don't fall for any spiritual bullshit. Don't think this is about just reading a few books and then sit back and wait for enlightenment to come. You must LOOK for yourself at the root idea you have about what you are. You must LOOK at the identifications which are there and see if they are true or not.
This isn't about someone telling you the truth and then you have to come to believe it also, to pick up a new belief. It will NEVER be resolved until you come to that truth for yourself. When you SEE that you were never limited then the search is over, seeking ends naturally, the false falls away naturally.
The suggestion is to stop waiting for some golden nugget to set you free. Dive into the root idea you have about yourself and see if it's true or not. If it's true, the search is over. If it's not, the search is over.
But the false cannot stand up to investigation. IF you truly do dig into it, poke around that idea, the false disappears like darkness when the light is turned on. The only freedom is freedom from the IDEA of bondage. In other words, you only BELIEVE yourself to be bound, to be limited.
Find out if that's true or not.